2008 evalution

2008 thought me so many things either good and bad things. When I think back what I've done for a year, I can see so many disappointment than happiness. I did so many BAD things than GOOD things. When I look into mirror...I say to myself, Joel...What you've done...what you've done...what you've done.... Maybe some people knew what I've done...and it was so horrible things. Haiz... I learnt so many things throughout this year. I learnt the meaning of sincerity, friendship and love. I also learnt about lies..and psychology weapon that I did to many people or more correct...victims. Believe or not...I can make people 'fall' infront of me ...begging and crying....just for 48 hours. haha...I know it's wrong to do that. No good.

2008... I bought many things that are quite expensive(expensive for me...maybe not expensive for other people...lol)..for example, my clothes, jeans, pants, shoes, handphones, specs, camera, and etc. Oh God...this is how I used the scholarship. Forgive me oh God.

2008...also thought me how to study like crazy. haha.... I used 15 hours everyday to study... reading like hell, memorising like hell, understand like hell and everything is like hell. Well, people always said that, learning is a part to success..Yeah, I believe that. So, to release my stress because of my study.... I spent my weekends to go to watch movie, hang out with my friends, go to church and sometimes sleeping and chatting with my friends. Haha, see...how I waste my time.LOL

The 4th day of 2009 give me a lot of vision to do this year. However, I don't like to share what are my visions for this year. LOL....Maybe next year, I will pleased to tell you. I hope so.

Last but not least, enjoy our life, enjoy what you doing, happy and smile in every troublesome.. and Trust Jesus. He leaves us never.....

Hurt

HURT

Seems like it was yesterday

When I saw your face

You told me how proud you were,

But I walked away

If only I knew what I know today

Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms

I would take the pain away

Thank you for all you've done

Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do

To hear your voice again

Sometimes I wanna call you

But I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you

For everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside

But I won't admit

Sometimes I just wanna hide

'Cause it's you I miss

And it's so hard to say goodbye

When it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?

Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do

To have just one more chance

To look into your eyes

And see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you

For everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day

I would tell you how much that I've missed you

Since you've been away

Ooh, it's dangerous

It's so out of line

To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you

For everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself..By hurting you

when u hurt someone...u will blamed like hell. When u hurt, no one cares. It's not fair to be like be like this....not fair. I'm not be the best...but i don't want to be the rest. I'm trying so hard to protect our relationship...but seems, I'm just the only one who do that. You never help and take any action. The word "bye" that u always said.....seems...it's the end of everything....I don't know how much you care about me, how much you honest to me....but I hope...There is NO LIE between us......I'm hurt....I'm Hurt.....really Hurt......that I even couldn't bear it alone....I'm hurt....How could this happen to me?....

Friendship

Who is friend to you? For me, friend is someone who very closes to you and know everything about you. He/she besides you when you get in trouble or problem. He/she encourages and give you support and never betray you. I got a few friends that very damn closes to me. haha....For example, Roney, Wilson and Hembray. They are very closes to me and they know almost 90% about my life. Surprisingly, we are cousins. hurm. So, what are the most important things that should exist in our friendship? Do you know why those my friends above still keep in touch to me and our friendship is still going on even we are in different places? Because...the most important in friendship are, understanding, honest, love, trust, share, humble, humour, tolerance, careness and listen. So, having friends is good, but keeping friendship is hard. In short, friend gives a lot of meaning to me. Friendship forever....

For my friends that I didn't written his/her name above, sorry....haha... I got so many friends, so can't mention all of you.

1 month to 3rd sem final exam

Now, I'm already in the 2nd year medical school. Overall, medicine isn't easy. Trust me. It needs a lot of commitment and time. This coming December, I'll sit for my 3rd sem final exam which is consist of 12 subjects. OMG.... I hope i can pass in this exam. I believe in God, and i believe that He is helping me.... Sometimes, I can't believe that I'm in UPM and doing medical study here. Because, I'm not good enough in academic...lol...than the other students. May be, it's due to lack of confidence in myself. In other word, lack of of self- esteem. Lol... By the way, I know why I am here, what is my ambition and why I chose Medicine. It's all about LIFE. Talking about life, we know that life is short and we become older and older. I remember 1 quote..."aging is bad but it is interesting"....haha...I don't really know what is the meaning of this quote. ...lol. Then, average age of man to live is 70 years old and for woman is 75 years old...It's not long, isn't it? I'm 20 years old now, and I still have approximately 50 years to live. What I'm gonna do within this period? Yeah, I have my own vision, dreams and all that stuff. I hope I can achieve it and later live without regret. I'm sure, all of us also want to do the same thing, right? Well, live happily, enjoy what are you doing and trust God that He Chose you.... not to be the tail but to be the head of all people. Peace!!

handphone!!

hurm, i miss my handphone very much....haiz...